Lilian Nattel on the Writer as Mom

Fellow Canadian Lilian Nattel spoke at the Festival of Faith and Writing in a session she called "From Naptime to Novel: The Writer as Mom." I took furious notes because so much of what she spoke about resonated with me.

The Singing Fire

Nattel is the mother of two girls, aged seven and four, adopted from China. In the session, she told the story of how becoming a mother changed her novel as well as her life.

When she set out to write her next book after The River Midnight, Nattel wanted to do something easier, a "fast mystery that would make a lot of money." Twice she made it two-thirds of the way through the manuscript, but she couldn't seem to finish the ending. At last she realized, in a late-night panic, that her mystery was full of holes. So her husband asked her, "Is there anything at all in this book that has energy for you?" [What a great question.]

Indeed there was: a small subplot about an adoption triad: birth mother, adoptive mother, and child. Not surprising that adoption was on Nattel's mind, since she was waiting to travel to China to get her oldest daughter. The novel was in tatters, but when that baby was placed in her arms and Nattel sang her a lullaby, The Singing Fire was born.

Nattel said that when she became a mother, she became bolder. "All children became my children." Whereas she wrote about mother/daughter relationships in The River Midnight as a daughter, she was now writing The Singing Fire as a mother.

Nattel's thematic preoccupations came out in the writing: the ways that people hide their past, parts of themselves, and how it comes back to haunt them. The ghosts in The Singing Fire demonstrate that "love couldn't die," something Nattel found out when she became a mother (and she was careful to note that fathers can be mothers too). She spoke of the Hebrew concept of Shekhina, the feminine aspect of God, the divine that is not separated from the world. "That is the voice of our mothers."

You can read about the inspiration for The Singing Fire in Nattel's own words at her website.

Writing with Children

Nattel had some practical comments about writing with children around. She cannot wait for the muse to show up. Before children she wrote from 10 am to 8 pm, six days a week. Now she writes from Tuesday to Friday, some days only during naps and after bedtime. People remark how well her children go to bed, and Nattel says it's because she's a writer, and very strict about bedtime! When she's writing, her children can come up and give her a hug or show her something, but they know she's working.

She said that when she doesn't write, she gets clumsy. "If I start dropping things, I need to have some quiet time. I structure my life so I have that time." Every Saturday she takes her daughters to the library, and then has an hour to herself after that.

The way parenthood changes you forever, Nattel said, is that you are no longer the most important person in the world. I was inspired that Nattel could take on parenthood so fiercely and passionately, and still make space for her writing.